ESOTERICA

The Battle of the Industries 

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer 
industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with technology 
like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars 
that got 1000 miles to the gallon." 

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating 
(by Mr Welch himself): 

If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with 
the following characteristics: 
   
   For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day. 
   Every time they re-painted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new 
   car. 
   Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would 
   just accept this, restart and drive on. 
   Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car 
   to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall 
   the engine. 
   Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought "Car98" or 
   "CarNT." But then you would have to buy more seats. 
   Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, five times 
   as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five per cent of 
   the roads. 
   The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by 
   a single "general car fault" warning light. 
   New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt. 
   The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off. 
   Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse 
   to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the 
   key, and grab hold of the radio antenna. 
   GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally 
   road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither needed nor wanted 
   them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's 
   performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target 
   for investigation by the Justice Department. 
   Everytime GM introduced a new model car buyers would have to learn how to 
   drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same 
   manner as the old car. 
   You'd press the "start" button to shut off the engine.