A gentleman is sitting on a deserted beach watching the sunset when
he notices something half buried in the sand. He pulls it out and sees
that it is a heavy, jewel encrusted bottle. As he brushes off the sand,
the bottle begins to shake and emit various colored clouds of smoke,
then...POOF! A Genie appears from out of the bottle .The Genie lavishes praise on the man, regales him with his story, and finally gets around to the 'you have three wishes part of the tale. So the guy thinks about it for awhile and says "I have always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I am afraid to fly and afraid to go on a boat, so for my first wish I want a highway from here to Hawaii."

The Genie at first is amazed at the character of the man and ask instead if he would not want "all the money...fame...glory...vast amounts of property"...yadda yadda. Nope, wish one is for the highway.The Genie tells him that doing something like that borders almoston the impossible. The time, resources, and energy required to
fulfill such a wish would most likely leave the Genie drained for
thousands of years...is there something else, anything - even wishing
for more wishes - that he might want? The man again pauses and thinks for awhile then says "Well, I have always wanted to understand women."
The Genie replies, "So this highway, did you want two lanes or four?"
**************************************
A proud Texan hears that the new state of Alaska was bigger than
Texas.He decided that he had to find out if their men could live up to the standards of Texas men. When he arrived in Anchorage, he headed straight for the nearest bar. He cornered the bartender and demanded,
"Tell me what it is you have to do to prove your a man in Alaska?"
The wily bartender answered:
"Well, fellow, first you have to drink a quart of this Northern Lights
Whiskey. Then, you have to wrestle one of them polar bears out there on the icebergs. And finally, you have to make love to one of our bargirls on the snow when it's twenty below zero outside."
The Texan said: "Gimmie that bottle." He chug-a-lugged the quart of whiskey and asked the bartender to point out a polar bear. The
bartender showed him one sitting on a sheet of ice still connected to
the shore. The Texan headed for the polar bear.
An hour later, the patrons in the bar heard someone groaning at the
front door. The bartender opened the front door to find the Texan
slowly crawling up the steps on all fours. His back was ripped to
shreds and blood was pouring out the claw marks visible through his
torn shirt. The badly injured Texan, nevertheless, looked up at the bartender with a big silly grin on his face and asked in a drunken slur, "Now, where's
that bar girl I'm supposed to wrestle?"