A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me. They must be Gods! A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me. I must be a God!

A lecture is where the notes of the professor become the notes of the student without passing through the mind of either one.

A scientist knows more & more about less & less till he knows everything about nothing while a philosopher knows less & less about more & more till he knows nothing about everything.

Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

Bacteria: the only culture some people have

---

Sarcasm: You don't look half bad for someone twice your age. Birthday Belief Systems Idealism: Happy Birthday. Capitalism: I shopped all day for your birthday. Atheism: I can't believe it's your birthday. Hinduism: Holy Cow! Is it your birthday? Taoism: It's everybody's birthday. Buddhism: If your birthday party was held in the forest and nobody came, would it make a sound? Existentialism: Your birthday means nothing to me. Can't never could do anything. Till could came along and whipped Can't butt; now can't can do a lot. Can't never did anything but fail. -- Mr. Eaton Did you know that dolphins are so intelligent that within only a few weeks of captivity, they can train Americans to stand at the very edge of the pool and throw them fish? Do you want some more proverbs So are bored to death yet??? Updated 3/9-99 g_nancy@hotmail.com