Snuff videos used in UK mosques
"One video called The Mirror of the Jihad showed Taliban forces in Afghanistan
decapitating Northern Alliance soldiers with knives. It was distributed by an
Islamic organisation based in Paddington, London.
Another video, shot in Bosnia, advocated a 'jihad to wipe out atheism'.
'God loves people who kill in his name. The enemies of Islam are scared. The Jews
and the Christians know that they have lost [the war] and want to stop us spreading
the truth.'
A Muslim woman in Florida was told by a Department of Motor Vehicles clerk that
she could not have a driver's license after she refused to show her face for the
photo.
"For Muslim women, that's like going out naked in front of strangers, and
we are both practicing Muslims."
Practice taking the bus, lady.
English is one of the world's
richest languages but there are still many words in Swedish which have no English
equivilent - these say a hell of a lot about the differences between the two countries.
Knull Kompis - literally 'fuck friend', a friend you have sex with.
Sambo - co-habiting partner.
Knull rufs - the messy way your hair looks after fucking.
Lagom - just enough, not too much. Like a Volvo: competent but not exciting.
Ugh, snow. I don't mind it
that much as such, but it means that, instead of getting a nice adrenalin
fix on my bike and getting to
work in around 12 minutes, it takes around an hour. Oh well, it's only for
5 fucking months.
Each time a member of Osama
bin Laden's al-Qaida terror network is killed, an "X" is marked on a
presidential scorecard.
Incorporating his love for baseball with the war on terrorism, President Bush
ordered his aides to produce a photo "scorecard."
Bush told The Washington Post, "I'm a baseball fan. I want a scorecard."
Have I mentioned how dumb Amerikka is? Maybe I have, but,
not content with many states banning anal and oral sex, it's actually illegal
to even live together in 9 states! Land of the Free, my arse!
George W. 'Village Idiot' Bush spouted some more prime crap the other week - America
is 'the freest country in the World'. Let's ignore the rank stupidity of insinuating
how crap other countries are for a moment - most diplomatic - and let's just look
at a few facts.
In America they put children, as young as 14, in prison.
In America people found guilty of murder by their fine 'best justice money can
buy' system can be killed by the state.
In America they elecrocute people - literally frying them to death taking several
minutes.
In America you can be forced into the Armed Forces.
In America you have to go through hell just to get an abortion.
American schools are discouraged to teach such controvertial subjects as evolution
or birth control.
AND you can't even buy a fucking beer until you're 21!
But hey! You can always buy a gun!
Americans - have they been too busy patting themselves on the back and telling
themselves how fantastic they are that they really don't understand why so much
of the world hates them? They install right-wing governments all round the world
to stop the Scourge of International Communism (TM) and then wonder why
the persecuted masses have a grudge against them! Fuck, if I'd had to live in
one of those poor bastard countries having my culture and freedom abused to keep
the World free for MacDonalds, Marlboro and Coca-cola, and watched my family die
I might feel like flying a plane into a building too!
And this 'War on Terrorism' - the CIA has been illegally training terrorists (sorry,
'Freedom Fighters') for years. They used them to overthrow the democratically-elected
Nicaraguan government for instance.
I come from Britain where we're pretty used to terror - the American-funded IRA
has been sending bombs through the post and blowing up children for years.
Well, maybe now they've found a country so fucking weak and pathetic they can
actually win a war against them! Not like those pesky well-equipped and highly-trained
Vietnamese eh?!
The attacks in America were obviously terrible personal tragedies, not just for
those killed but for all the friends and relatives.
BUT.
But, but, but, but, but!
I'm totally sick of all this patriotic fucking vengence bullshit that's being
spouted.
"Oh honey, what shall we do today?"
"I know, let's go to the World Trade Centre and chant 'U.S.A.! U.S.A.!'"
"Great idea honey! I'll go get the flag!"
Mindless fucking patriotic fucking brainless bullshit!
Bin Laden was sponsored by the C.I.A. is part of their 'War on Communism', with
Osama Bin Laden himself receiving training from them.
The Afghan Taliban government was also heavily backed by the U.S.A. for the same
dumb reason - "The enemy of my enemy is my friend" - the same idiocy that helped
mass-murderer Sadam Hussein into power.
So next time the U.S.A. decides to invade, subvert, or undermine, maybe they should
consider that it's not just foreigners that will suffer, (like Vietnamese,
Nicaraguans or Cubans) but maybe Americans too...
I keep hearing the people behind the attacks in America referred to as 'cowards'.
Now if it had been Americans that had infiltrated an enemy power and sacrificed
their lives, would they be cowards? Or heroes?
And right now someone in Hollywood will be planning a film about it...
A stunned US president George Bush promised a "full-scale investigation to
hunt down and find those folks who committed this act."
Fucking jackass.
The President of the United States of America is a fucking liar.
Nothing new there you might think, after all, he is a politician and that's what
they do. But these lies are putting all our lives at risk. First of all he breaks
the Kyoto enviromental agreement, which basically means full steam ahead with
fucking up the planet. Then he breaks the Anti-Ballistic Missile treaty, upping
the risk of nuclear war - guess he must really miss the Cold War huh?!
But still, his daughter's a drunken slut so we can all laugh about that whilst
he fucks the world up, right?
There was a great documentary on (Swedish) TV last night, called 'Naked in NY',
about a Finnish woman artist. She had an exhibition at MOMA (Museum of Modern
Art) called Sau-na. It was, you guessed it, a sauna.
The idea was to show Americans a traditional Finnish sauna - the reactions (to
a Northern European anyway!) were really funny - they couldn't believe that you
went into the sauna naked, that men and women went in together...
The woman giving the exhibition would take the odd sauna herself and then, as
you do, lie outside afterwards to cool off - naked obviously. And people would
avert their eyes! Fucked up or what?!
The Israelis are slaughtering Palestinians like they're going out of fashion and
George 'W' Bush, King of
The Dumb and the best President Big
Oil money can buy, has decided that the planet isn't being destroyed fast enough
and so has handed over the Alaskan Nature Reserve to the oil companies.
Tell the people
Johnny!
This
just about says it all!
The weather is so fucked... Mind you I can see the American point of view,
that saving the planet isn't an economically viable option, can't you?
Bastards.
Mind you, at least they'll be much the wiser about dodgy totalitarian regimes
after spending all that time sucking up to the Chinese, only have to be made to
grovel and say 'Very sorry' to them, won't they, eh?
I can't believe George "W" Bush! He's vetoed UN observers going into
the area of the Israeli settlements in Palestine - that Jewish cock taste good
does it "W"? Not satisfied with scuppering the Middle East peace process
he's torn up the eco agreement - saving the environment isn't worth the economic
cost apparently - I hope the dumb fuck gets skin cancer! (Although America has
just 4% of the global population, it produces 25% of the world's 'greenhouse'
gases.)
In Europe George "W" Bush would be the village idiot - in Amerikkka
they make him president!
Great to see the good ol' fashioned democratic traditions like book-burning are
being kept alive and well in Amerikkka!
In Pittsburgh the church of the Reverend Bender (!) has been burning Harry Potter
books as well as CDs by Foreigner, Bruce Springsteen, Pearl Jam and AC/DC; and
Walt Disney videos of "Pinocchio" and "Hercules." All to show
how much they lurrv Gaarrd. How about just shutting the fuck up instead?!
Is it because Amerikkkans are
stoopid or that their laws are that they need signs like this
and this?!
What a magnificent own-goal George "Call me W" Bush has scored. In one
simple move he's scuppered the Middle-East peace process and united the arab world
against the US. Mind you, on the plus side, he did manage to put some innocent
civilians in hospital. What the fuck was he thinking?! "I'm President now
so I'll get straight to the good stuff and kill some people".
RETARD.
Religious discrimination is
to become illegal in the UK. Now, at first glance this might appear to be a Good
Thing, but consider this: Race is not something you can chose, and it's therefore
wrong to be discriminated against because of it, likewise gender, sexual orientation
or handicap, but religion?! No, that's something you chose - and if you chose
to be a fucking idiot, of course you should be discriminated against!
So, before it's illegal to do so, I'd just like to say Muslims are a bunch
of cunts.
And Roman Catholics, and Mor(m)ons and Jews and...
Music today, eh?! In my day
etc. etc...
I was listening to the radio in the rental car when I was in England at the weekend
(I hate radio) and Radio 1 (the 'young hip' station) was playing utter shite -
mass-produced bullshit, mindless fucking dance music and whiny miserable crap
- so I switched over to Radio 2 (the 'middle-aged' station) and what do I hear?
'Boredom' by the Buzzocks (energetic poppy punk) and a discussion about the relative
merits of Throbbing Gristle (hard-core experimental industrial) and 999 (hard-core
punk) - all from the 70s. I watch MTV2 and what do I see? System of a Down - fucking
overrated retro-rock that sounds more like Jethro Tull than anything else (the
singer has a beard for fucksake!), Starsailor - fucking whingy student
bollocks and The Strokes - pathetic lo-fi 60s recycled powerpop! Shit, am I the
young rebel and the kids of today the brainwashed old-before-their-time mass-consumers?
My grandmother's favourite
joke:
What's the white stuff in hen shit?
That's hen shit as well!
One day in the
future, George Bush has a heart attack and dies. He
immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him.
"I don't know what to do," says the devil. "You are on my list, but I
have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell
you what I'm going to do. I've got some folks here who weren't quite
as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their
place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves."
Bush thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened the first
room. In it was Ronald Reagan and a large pool of water. He kept
diving in and surfacing empty handed. Over and over and over. Such
was his fate in hell. "No," George said. "I don't think so. I'm not a
good swimmer and I don't think I could do that all day long."
The devil led him to the next room. In it was Richard Nixon with a
sledge hammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that
hammer, time after time after time. "No, I've got this problem with
my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break
rocks all day," commented George.
The devil opened a third door. In it, Bush saw Bill Clinton, lying on
the floor with his arms shackledover his head,and legs spread open.
Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best. Bush
looked this in disbelief and finally said, "Yeah, I can handle this."
The devil smiled and said "OK, Monica, you're free to go"
3 Prostitutes in a bar...first says,
"I can shove 3 fingers up my pussy!"
The second said "I can shove my FIST up my pussy!"
"Well I can shove ANYTHING up my pussy!" said the third,
as she slowly slid down the bar stool.
Mirror, mirror on the wall,
Should I really shave my balls?
If I don't - she'll surely bitch ~
Does she care how much I'll itch?
Take the razor and lather up,
Gawd that bitch is so corrupt
Don't she care that I could slip?
Shave my balls ~ and cut off my dick?
Easy now ~ hands don't shake,
She'll call me "Stumpy" with one mistake,
Pubes in her teeth she really can't bear,
If I want some head ~ get ridda the hair.
So I shave my balls all nice and slick,
Did it up nice ~ without one nick!
"Feel 'em baby ~ they're so smooth!"
"Take off your clothes - get in the groove!"
She looks at me from our little bed,
"I'm sleepy, Baby ~ ain't givin no head!"
She rolls on over ~ and gives me her back,
I'm so pissed off ~ I'm about to crack!
Next day ~ its breakfast in the sheets,
I spoon her bites which she gladly eats,
And I must confess I think it's fair,
That her omelette was made with pubic hair.
Fred and Jim are having a quiet beer one night when Fred announces that he's
going to divorce his wife.
"Good grief" says Jim, "You and Sue are the happiest couple I know
- why on earth would you want to divorce such a lovely woman after all these years
of obvious bliss?"
"Well" replies Fred, "Truth be known I'm just bored with pokin'
the same hole night after night after night. I guess I'm hankerin' for a bit of
variety."
Jim: "Well if you want variety, why don't you just, you know, turn her over
every now and again?"
Fred: "What - and have a house full of kids???"
Oooooooooh, I'm being threatened!
I used to have a parody of the Di1bert comic on here (originally
published by rotten
dot com), but since I received a threatening
letter I've been intimidated into removing it.
Now parody is allowed under U.S. law (not that I'm a U.S. citizen - but
the U.S. likes to impose it's laws on us mere non-U.S. citizens regardless!)
but they know that my money will run out way before their's will, so they
can bully just about anyone into submission.
Eric Steiner,
your parents must be very proud.
Cardinal says Christianity
"nearly vanquished"
Christianity has almost been "vanquished" in Britain, the leader of
the Roman Catholic Church in England and Wales has said in a candid speech.
Christianity no longer influences the government or people's lives, and revolutionary
thinking is needed in order to reach lapsed Catholics, non-believers and young
people, Cardinal Cormac Murphy-O'Connor, Archbishop of Westminster, told the National
Conference of Priests in Leeds on Wednesday.
"It does seem in our countries in Britain today, especially in England and
Wales, that Christianity as a backdrop to people's lives and moral decisions --
and to the government, the social life of the country -- has now almost been vanquished,"
the Times quoted the cardinal as saying.
He said that Christ was being replaced by music, new age movements, occult practices
and green issues as the source of peoples' "glimpses of the transcendent".
Who'd have thought a man who wears a purple dress and believes that our lives
are controlled by some bearded guy who lives in the clouds could be so perceptive?!
Speaking of men in dresses, more news from The
Land of the Dumb -
Porn again
A disturbing number of men in Christian leadership are hooked [on Internet
porn]. Recently, 37% of pastors admitted in a Christianity Today survey that they
struggle with Internet pornography.
-- Steve Watters, "Porn Again: A Wake Up Call to the Church"
FACT: There are more sex criminals amongst Catholic Priests than in the rest of
the population.
I think God's got a sick sense of humour...
Sex-swap Briton sues airline
A British man in the midst of changing sex is suing United Airlines after allegedly
being marched off a flight and forced to change from a dress to men's clothes.
"My client is a biological male, but she does present as a female quite often,"
said Beth Plotner, the attorney for passenger Richard Ward, also known as Sarah
West.
"She had on makeup, with a wig, a dress," Plotner said. The lawyer alleged
that United staff told Ward to put on a pair of pants, "take off the long
hair, probably wipe off the makeup ... to basically change back so that they were
satisfied for their own reasons."
"She was totally humiliated," Plotner added.
United staff allegedly forced the plaintiff to comply even after he produced a
doctor's note saying he was undergoing sex change procedures. Ward had previously
flown many times in women's clothes on United and other carriers without incident,
according to Plotner.
Well, what do you expect from a country that locks up children?
Thirsty for a McFatBastard
In 37% of Americans, the thirst mechanism is so weak that it is often mistaken
for hunger. Even MILD dehydration will slow down one's metabolism as much as 3%.
One glass of water shuts down midnight hunger pangs for almost 100% of the dieters
studied in a U-Washington study. Lack of water is the #1 trigger of daytime fatigue.
Preliminary research indicates that 8-10 glasses of water a day could significantly
ease back and joint pain for up to 80% of sufferers. A mere 2% drop in body water
can trigger fuzzy short-term memory, trouble with basic math, and difficulty focusing
on the computer screen or on a printed page. Drinking 5 glasses of water daily
decreases the risk of colon cancer by 45%, plus it can slash the risk of breast
cancer by 79%, and one is 50% less likely to develop bladder cancer.
Are you drinking the amount of water you should every day? Of course, too much
water may have strange
side effects.
Royal Pornmobile
Prestige carmaker Jaguar has refused to comment on reports a swastika and a cache
of pornographic magazines were found in the Queen's new car.
The magazines were deposited in a cavity while the swastika was painted behind
a seat panel. Both were discovered by workers when the car was being made bomb
proof in Coventry, according to newspaper reports.
The "factory extras" would not normally have been discovered except
the Queen's car had several panels removed to allow for bomb proofing, The Guardian
said on Wednesday.
Too smart to be teaching
According to a radio report, a middle school in Oregon was faced with a unique
problem. A number of girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on
in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would
press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints. Finally the
principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the
bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these
lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the
mirrors every night. To demonstrate how difficult it was to clean the mirrors,
she asked the maintenance guy to clean one of the mirrors. He took out a long-handled
squeegee, dipped it into the toilet and then cleaned the mirror. Since
then there have been no lip prints on the mirror. There are teachers and then
there are teachers.
Selfish fucking bastards -
it's not bad enough that they're so weak and stupid that they spend a small fortune
killing themselves, they also have to damage the health of those around them!
Workers whose colleagues smoke are being exposed to serious lung damage, according
to a new study.
Scottish doctors say that non-smokers can find that their lung capacity is reduced
by 10 per cent as a result of passive smoking.
ASH said that up million people in the UK are continuously or frequently exposed
to cigarette smoke at work.
A report commissioned by cigarette maker Philip Morris saying that the early
deaths of smokers saved money in health care, pensions and housing for the elderly
has sparked a new burst of outrage from tobacco industry opponents.
"I think it's pretty egregious," Richard Daynard, a Northeastern University
law professor and chairman of the Tobacco Products Liability Project, said.
"You don't see other companies doing it. This is not the normal way we think
about the lives of citizens, that the government benefits when they die off prematurely."
The report, produced by consulting firm Arthur D. Little International, was released
in the Czech Republic several weeks ago, a spokesman for Philip Morris said.
The study "was part of an ongoing debate about the economics of cigarette
excise tax policy in the Czech Republic," Philip Morris International said
in a statement issued late on Monday. "Philip Morris deeply regrets any impression
from this study that the premature death of smokers represents a benefit to society."
Among findings in the report are that the premature deaths of smokers saved the
Czech government between 943 and 1.19 billion crowns (17 million to 22 million
pounds) on health care, pensions and housing for the elderly in 1999, the spokesman
confirmed.
Philip Morris, the world's largest cigarette maker with brands like Marlboro,
commissioned the report to gather economic data in the debate over how much health
care for smokers costs the country, spokesman Remi Calvet, said.
I remember a similar thing in the U.K. years ago, a Conservative Minister was
being uncharacteristically honest; when questioned about the cost to the country
of caring for all those suffering from smoking-related diseases (about one
third of all those in hospital) being greater than the revenue from tobacco
taxes, he cited the fact that smokers dying money saved on pensions - KER-CHING!
The fact that the government actually did these sums tells how they view you,
the same way as Big Tobacco does: as cattle.
Here's a thought:
In Western Europe the chances of contracting HIV from penetrative sex are less
than 1 in 100,000 and, quite rightly, anybody with any sense would use a condom
with anybody they weren't 100% sure of.
The chances of dying from smoking are 1 in 2.
THINK ABOUT IT.
This would probably suprise
most Americans who automatically assume Amerikkka
is the best at everything:
Norway has overtaken long-standing winner Canada to head a United Nations list
of the world's best places to live for quality of life and high living standards,
the Norwegian daily Verdens Gang said on Thursday.
The U.N. report, to be published next week, shows for the first time Norway ranking
at number one in a league of life expectancy, education and gross domestic product
indicators, the paper said.
"This is a recognition of Norway that will be noticed," Norwegian Prime
Minister Jens Stoltenberg was quoted as saying in the country's biggest daily.
It shows Norway on top with 939 points, followed by Australia, Canada and Sweden,
each with 936 points.
Out of 162 countries on the list, the United States ranks number six and Britain
at 14. Sierra Leone is at the bottom of the list.
But, to be fair, I've lived in Norway; the people are great and the scenery amazing
- but Christ is it boring!
How The Church wants
you!
Just in case you'd forgotten, religion
is really stoopid!
Don't let worries kill you...
You have to hate! It's patritoic!
Hey! Look what I
made! Now you have
a go!
It's really hard to
believe that this
woman is an atheist! This kind of starry-eved naive drivel is usually reserved
for born-again Christians.
A thing called 'The Breast Test' was doing the rounds recently, the idea was to
spot the silicon; I hate fake tits and did pretty well on it (17 out of 20). This
is in a similar vain and a little tougher... Robo's
Bangkok-Chic-Boy Test I.
Women! Always making
demands...
This is cool - Low
Pass Comic Strip Creator. Here's one
I made earlier - and now you know what I have to put up with at work!
Mmmm, I must be dreaming...
Here's a couple of morsels to keep you entertained - Big
Brother and Jerry
Springer.
PLUS! The important question! Answered!
Sex
makes you stupid!
I've always had my suspicions about Celin
Dion.
I was just born to
make you happy...
From Fetish-News:
Here are a few lesser-known world records...
Most Semen Swallowed - Michelle Monaghan had 1.7 pints of semen pumped out of
her stomach in Los Angeles in July 1991.
Longest Pubic Hair - Maoni Vi of Cape Town has hair measuring 28 inches from her
vagina.
Most Cavernous Crotch - Linda Manning of Los Angeles could, without preparation,
completely insert a lubricated American football into her vagina.
Worst Drink - The most horrible drink to be considered a beverage and safely drunk
is Khoona. It's drunk by Afghani tribesmen on their wedding night and consists
of a small amount of still-warm very recently attained bull semen. It's believed
to be a potent aphrodisiac.
Most Offensive Cocktail - This is available from a few select bars in New York.
It contains tomato juice, a double shot of vodka, a spoonful of French mustard
and a dash of lime. It is not mixed, but served with a tampon (unused) instead
of a cocktail umbrella and is known as a 'Cunt Pump'.
Greatest Distance Attained For A Jet Of Semen - Horst Schultz achieved 18 ft 9
in with a 'substantial' amount of seminal fluid. He also hold the records for
the greatest height (12 ft 4in) and the greatest speed of ejaculation, or muzzle
velocity, with 42.7 mph.
Happy Valentine's!
Cum on Barbie,
let's go party...
Fancy some free music? Here's something I knocked up in my shed: Stef
Mix 1 (1.16MB)
Yes, I am the new Fat Boy Slim. Damn that shit's easy...
Whilst I was in Cyprus I was
reading the fascinating "Please kill me" about the rise of Punk, which
lead me to comment that it seems that everybody in it dies. I got back to Sweden
and the first thing I read was that Joey Ramone had died. Last week I re-read
Douglas Adams' (better known for "The Hitch-hiker's Guide to the Galaxy")
under-rated "Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency", and guess what?!
Yep, dead as a dodo.
In future I think I'll just read about people
I don't like...
We could do with something
like this in Sweden (it's about a campaign in Ontario, Canada) - I'm fucking sick
of inattentive morons yacking on the phone when they should be concentating on
driving:
Eat, talk on a cellphone, read a newspaper or do anything else that takes your
attention away from driving, and you may find yourself being scrutinized. Those
spotted causing a collision or a near miss are being charged with careless driving.
OPP Sergeant Cam Woolley said the 35-year-old female driver updating her datebook
was also sipping coffee.
'She missed her exit, drove over the shoulder in her Saturn on Highway 401 and
then cut off a cube van,' Woolley said.
As for the cheeseburger muncher, Woolley said the driver was paced by a police
cruiser doing 130 km/h in his Nissan on Highway 401.
'When they pulled up beside him, he was unwrapping his burger and trying to steer
with his knees,' Woolley said.
[RANT MODE OFF]
You know, just when you think
your opinion of just how stupid people can be has got as low as it gets, some
tiny-dicked little retard comes along and lowers the average IQ of all humanity
by opening it's shit-stained little mouth...
Name: TuRK
(Homepage)
Country: sweden Date: Wed Mar 21 23:34:59 2001
Comment: You fucking gay mother fucker, Naziz gay, come to Södertälje
and me and my gang gone fuck you
You white ass bitch!
So I'm a gay Nazi now am I? News to me! But apparently Princess
Tiny-meat and his 'gang' (chortle) would like intimate knowledge of my bottom,
hmmm..., they sound distinctly light in their pink loafers to me!
For people who don't know Sweden, Södertälje, where TuRD
comes from, is a shithole with the highest rate of sex attacks in the country.
When idiots like 'tard
live there I guess you can see why!
Poor TuRD,
he's mysteriously been subscribed to about 60 HIV/AIDS newletters! Tsk tsk, I
hope his mummy and his 'gang' can comfort him!
The big news stories in Britain
at the moment are about a train crash in which 10 or more people died and which
was caused by a car towing a trailer accidentally leaving the road, and foot-and-mouth
disease which has left the whole of the U.K. in virtual quarantine and lead to
the slaughter of tens of thousands of animals.
I saw the front page of a tabloid, it had a large picture of the man who drove
the car involved in the train crash next to the headline "DID HE FALL ASLEEP
AT THE WHEEL". Of course, they had no good reason to publish his picture
and no facts to back up their implecations, but they obviously thought the extra
newspaper sales justified utterly destroying the man's life. Personally I'd love
to see a mass-circulation paper with a large picture of their editor on the front
page next to the headline "IS THIS MAN A DONKEY-RAPING SHIT-EATER".
Seems fair to me!
Currently the whole of the British countryside is more or less closed and the
border with Ireland is tighter than it ever was during "The Troubles".
Huge funeral pyres of slaughtered animals dot the country and we're hearing tales
of a crisis in the British farming industry again, so soon after BSE (Mad cow
disease). But there's very little talk of how this happened. It was started by
some money-grabbing fox-hunting right-wing "Getorfamaylaaand" fucking
Farmer Giles deliberately breaking the law and flaunting hygiene regulations.
But do we see their picture on the front of any tabloids?!
Many people don't seem able
to see past it being
'demeaning to women'. Well, it seems to me that that's a problem with women who
aren't prostitutes rather than the ones who actually are. Isn't it demeaning
to work 8 hours a day in a factory too? I remember seeing a documentary about
a 'radical' lesbian feminist who was giving a radio interview in which she claimed
that prostitutes all hated the men who 'exploited' them, blah blah blah. Later
she met with a prostitutes collective who basically had totally different views
to her - and she'd been more or less claiming to speak for them! None of us can
do exactly what we want to do, but within the options we have we can make choices
- they've made theirs. You can argue forever about 'in an ideal world' but we
don't live in one - and never will do...
The second thing is that countries that are more sexually open, have regulated
brothels etc., have far lower rates of rape. The UK is one of the most sexually
repressed modern countries and has far more rapes than the Netherlands
or Germany. So what's more important, the abstract principles of some conservative
lesbian femi-nazis or women being attacked?
And if you're wondering, no, I've never been with a prostitute and have no intention
of going with one. It's kind of like a guy sticking his cock in some other guy's
ass - it's something I find pretty repulsive but I'd always defend their right
to do it.
They (okay, I) say you can
tell a lot about a person from their fridge
magnets...
(Yes, they are mine.)
Monday August 20
A good weekend in Copenhagen!
Went down for Manifest,
it was a big party they have once a year that's also open for non-members. But
first we went shopping...
I bought a rubber military-style shirt, a black rubber vest (note to Americans
and other non-English speakers: that's not the same thing as a waistcoat) and
a really cool small rubber whip, which got to see plenty of action later - but
we'll get to that...
Angelika (my girlfriend) bought
a rubber corset, a rubber dress and a rubber mini-skirt. Yeah, we like rubber.
Top quote of the weekend goes to her, browsing through a mass of videos:
"Hey, this one has a girl having her pussy sown up - can we get it?"
We met up with a woman called Pia, she lives in nearby Malmö, had seen my
name in the guestbook for Manifest and got in touch. She brought over a couple
of friends called Anders and Sarah who were going too.
We got ready, loaded ourselves up with booze at our hotel and then drove over
to the club, which was some way outside Copenhagen. First up was a fetish wedding
- now how cool is that? Later was a very sexy show - two girls were tied up and
hanging from the ceiling; they were whipped, had candle-wax poured on them, needles
stuck in them... I'm sure it was a major thrill for them!
There was a most tempting cross in one corner of the club that was too good to
resist, so I got to tie up, spank, whip, and generally squeeze, fondle and abuse
Angelika, Pia and Sarah. Angelika had a go too, she's quite interested in being
dominant with women and enjoyed it.
Pia was a baaad girl and fucked three guys in the dark-room - well, she is Swedish!
She was grinning like the proverbial cat that got the cream afterwards...
Well, back to work now.
But I'm still smiling...
Monday August 6
I'm back! Spain was pretty good, great weather, cheap booze and food - what more
do you need?!
Also had day-trips to Gibraltar and Morocco which were great.
Did a load of tax-free shopping in Gibraltar and then managed to smuggle the stuff
(a new digital camera and booze) firstly back into Spain and then into Sweden.
Weird place, a little bit of England crammed onto a rock near Africa...
Morocco was pretty much as expected, camels and arabs who's first words must be
'good price, special price'. It was like going back 400 years, complete with flies,
strong smells and bits of animals stinking the place up. So much for Islam...
Thursday July 26
Tomorrow I leave Sweden (28°C) for a week in Spain (29°C), sun, sex, sea,
sand and... scooters. Try not to fuck the place up whilst I'm out.
Monday July 16
Went to a
club on Saturday where you get quite a few TV/TSs (transvestites & Trans-sexuals).
There were a bunch of 'bikers' (ie twats with comedy beards and leather waistcoats)
looking quite out of place. One of them ended up with this little jugged-up black
chick.
Except I happen to know she wasn't born a chick...
Maybe he didn't care, if he rides a
Hardly he probably isn't too fussy anyway!
Monday May 14
Yesterday I was bike racing. A friend overtook me on a hairpin and then lost it
and hit the tyre-wall, I was right behind him, smashed straight into him and then
went sliding across the track, scraping my helmet, ploughing into the far tyre-wall
and making a mess of my bike.
And then we got up laughing.
Why? Because we were minimoto
racing - they're tiny two-strokes that barely come past the top of your boots
but they're mad fun... and best of all they're somebody else's!
Wednesday May 9
Summer! Well, for a week at least. Suddenly it's around 20°C (237 Fartenshite)
and clear blue skies. A 4 O'clock meeting is getting cancelled and a bunch of
us (me, Lopper & Andy) are going out on Andy's boat for B
'n' B - bobbing and boozing - lovely!
Monday May 7
Took a last minute executive decision and flew down to Copenhagen with my
Angel at the weekend for Manifest.
Did loads of shopping too - I got a long rubber coat for 150DKK (12DKK = £1)
from a second-hand shop - they're normally 1,500+. One shop had a great sale,
cool designer stuff reduced from as much as 700DKK to as little as 50!
[Female shopping logic mode = on] So buying is really saving money.
A sex shop had videos for 39DKK each so we HAD to get a couple!
Also bought some nipple clips, a small but powerful vibrator, some bondage tape,
blindfold, PVC wrist cuffs... TOYS! Got to love 'em!
Manifest was more crowded than I've ever seen it (it was the 'guest party'), had
to queue for ½ an hour before midnight to get in. Great fun though, getting
blown by a sexy
schoolgirl whilst watching a guy fucking a girl, who's eating a girl who's
blowing a guy is kind of special.
Wednesday May 2
A short but frantic weekend in England - I realised at the last minute that I
hadn't booked a car or hotel - DOH! A lot of hotels were full because of the snooker
in Sheffield (idiots) but I managed to find one nearby. I also forgot to book
a taxi to take me to the airport but still got there in time. I tell you -
On Monday (battling the previous night's hangover) I rode the 270 kms to Karlskoga
for a day on Gellråsen race-track the next day. Just as I reached the town
my oil warning light came on. No oil leak - just no oil pressure. The next morning
spent 4 hours freezing my ass off waiting for a tow truck before a friend gave
me a ride home on the back of his Hayabusa. Had a minor coronary when an unmarked
police car appeared behind us with sirens blaring - only to have it continue past.
Pulled over at a petrol station to be faced with no less than 4 police cars -
and more kept turning up! Cars from 3 counties, marked and unmarked, dog handlers,
a bike, a helicopter - what was going on? Got the answer when a small group of
cars with adolescents in left - one of the passengers was wearing a brown shirt
and a hairstyle only worn by retards
and Nazis.
My friend Andy crashed in the same spot that my friend Micke crashed previously
- luckily enough on the same side he crashed before but causing more damage this
time. He got trailered back to Stockholm but my bike is now at some piss-ant little
shop in the middle of nowhere.
Sometimes life's finger-licking good, sometimes it's just arse-wiping bad.
Tuesday April 3
The temperature here is finally consistantly above freezing and the sun is shining
most of the time. Went out for a major thrash on my
bike after work yesterday and did about 160 miles - sweet! Had a quiet weekend
in England with my kids, they'd watched a programme about censorship and pop music,
so they were going around doing their best Johnny Rotten impressions - "I
AM AN ANTI-CHRIST-AH!". Priceless...
Tuesday March 20
Here's a little collage of pictures from the "ski
conference" in Sälen (don't ask!)
Tuesday Feb. 27
Pretty good weekend, had to queue for 90 minutes to get into Tech
Noir on Saturday, it was okay, lots of people seemed to have made an effort
- ie plenty of hot chicks
in fetish gear...
Wednesday Feb. 21
On Saturday I went out with a Swedish friend who's been living in Germany, he'd
made the mistake of listening to a friend about his clothing choice for the evening
and was wearing baggy blue jeans. I think he realised his error and didn't take
much persuading to be crammed into a pair of my black PVC trousers. Aaaaanyway...
He's on the bus going home when a girl sits next to him and starts complimenting
him on his trousers and stroking them - so the guy got laid on the basis of my
trousers! I think she owes me a shag... >;]
Monday Feb. 19
Friday was more than a little weird. I was supposed to be meeting someone in a
gay bar, TipTop. And she didn't turn up. So, there I am, sat, on my own, in a
gay bar, on a Friday night. More than a little embarrassing! I'm just about to
leave when a woman starts hitting on me - which only goes to show!
Monday Feb. 12
Spent the weekend in Copenhagen, it was pretty good - except for me being ill!
I'd been feeling like I was about to start something all week, so going out and
getting pissed on the Friday night was possibly a mistake...
Spent most of Saturday sweating in bed - and not in a good way!) - but Manifest
was fun. I mean, can seeing one gorgeous girl in fetish gear fuck another with
a strap-on ever
be bad?! Even the vegan feminist (almost-) lesbian I went with loved it!
Friday Feb. 9
A friend his given me a note for the weekend:
To: The Birds
Stef is up for some meaningless
Please shag him senseless
His m8
Tuesday Feb. 6
Last month was probably the worst of my life. I got badly beaten
up by bouncers for no good reason, got given notice to leave my flat and I
split with my girlfriend. She says I'm a sex-addict and I need help - what's the
problem?! I'm happy being a sex-addict! It's not like it's going to give me cancer
or anything...
This weekend I'm off to Manifest
in Copenhagen (note for Amerikkkans, that's in DENMARK - BUY A MAP!) for the three
Fs - Fun, Filth and Fetish. YEAH BABY!