October 22nd, 1997

Turning point

Right, here I am now, at some kind of turning point in my life, the first such in almost two years. Last time I chose the least pleasant alternative, and ended up losing several good friends, a nice life, and the nicest, sexiest and cutest woman I've ever met. Doesn't sound like I have very good judgement, does it? Well, I probably don't, I thought that the more painful alternative would turn out to be the right one, morally, or some other bullshit. I was wrong, and I've been paying for it ever since.

Now I stand at a similar fork in the road. Should I try to build a life here in Sweden, where I have friends and family, will soon have an apartment, and possibly a job I could enjoy? The alternative is to go off to the US again, try to get some kind of a degree, and just generally have a good time. The problem with that is that I'll waste a lot of money that I have to borrow from the state, and will never be able to pay back, but that seems like less of a problem, as I'll be in debt to them for the rest of my natural life anyway.

Of course I can't go back to the way things were, the woman in question is gone, and the friends have moved away. What I'm hoping for is a new life, I guess, or maybe just a change of view. I've got another week and a half to make up my mind...