October 31st, 1997

Mind 2 mind?

So, is there love on the net? Of course there is, there's love and hate and the entire range of human emotions in any environment that has humans in it, although I might have tried to (or wanted to) deny it before. The strange thing is that feelings are so intense on the net, so immediate, and that we attach to people so quickly this way. Of course I have a theory about that, or rather one that me and my british friend Ride Forever worked out a few nights ago, during one of our all-nighters. We figured that it's easier to grow attached to people, and you got attached in a more personal way, on the net mainly because it's all in (or about) the mind. It's not a whole person you're talking to, you're basically looking straight into their soul, as we're free from all conventional limitations of looks, body language and such. Sure, people fall in love based on pictures sent over the net as well, but I consider that kind of pathetic. For me to fall in love it takes an interesting personality, and some intelligence, on the net or IRL. And on the net it's so much easier to discover those things in other people, therefore it's much eaiser to learn to love other people there.

And I do love, like and care about a lot of people on the net, in Active Worlds, and elsewhere. In varying degrees of course, but I hope I'll manage to stay at least friends with most of them. It never ceases to amaze me what strange psychological effects the three-dimensional world of AW has on my mind though. I can feel threatened and want to back off if someone else stands to close to me, or (if it's a good friend like Ride or Little Lover) it can feel like a hug, soothing. I discovered that you can really make love on the net, as opposed to just mindlessly fucking, although it's even harder to fake it than in real life. I've learned to see what people are feeling just by looking at them move (or not move) and interact with others, just like I can in real life. I love this place, and I spend far too much time in there for the good of my (now very lean) wallet :). But as long as I have a good life IRL also, I don't care.

Meanwhile, IRL, I still have no money, my best friend is in Holland studying art, and I owe him money that he needs to stay there, as he might not get his student loan. If anybody wants to help me rob a bank, send me an Email :). But I'm smiling anyway, don't know why, life's just too interesting a thing to not enjoy, even when it's seemingly crap :).