is it....
A sunny day in june 1993, (exactly three years ago today as I write this, by the way!) my first son wanted to enter the world. It had
been a long waiting, but even though I was ten days "overdue" I hoped nothing would happen for at least another week or two... Giving birth frightened me more
than I had told anyone.
That morning I woke up with a bad headache, and later during the day my back started to bother me. One must be
a compete idiot not to accept that this was the real thing when I about three pm had to stand leaning at a table because my back hurted so badly...
When the pain
came back in intervals I went home to time the contractions. With great joy and expectation i sat in the sofa, clock in one hand and pen in other, timing each one.
Now and then running around the house trying to organize my packing of the bag for the hospital. The pain wasnīt really that bad, actually I thought
I handeled it quite well, and the thought of the baby arriving was really stimulating. Ten minutes apart, seven...five...
Ten in the evening the contractions were four minutes apart and started to hurt a lot. I was both excited and scared. At Danderyd Hospital, North of Stockholm
the midwife on duty told us to get going. (In sweden mothers expecting their first child are told to stay at home as long as
possible, in their own environment, relaxing.) I was a bit happy and extremely nervous as we finally drove away from home... Hopefully it would
soon be over...
In june 1993 Sweden had a peak in nativity. At Danderyd it was truly busy. A nurse came running and almost didnīt stop while
checking us in. Short of breath she asked "Where to? Light or Normal?"
We looked at her and shook our heads, another contraction came and I leaned towards a wall as I tried to figure out what on earth
the woman meant... After a few minutes of discussion we realized that I at this point should decide how painful the giving birth would be...
Light as in Light care, didnīt offer epidural pain-relief. I tried to explain that this was my first time and I didnīt know anything about how
painful it would get, but the nurse cut me off with a sigh "Okay, okay You can go to the Normal, but we are rather busy today... "
Were we to say Thank You now, or what...? We felt a bit stupid as we were pushed into a gloomy examination-room to wait for a delivery-room.
There we were, me and my husband. Pale and a bit upset. Holding hands. Another older nurse entered the room and rushed through a list
of questions, heavy sighing as I asked about enema. We donīt use those anymore, itīs only natural.... I had to stop her and explain that I
hadnīt been able to "go" for several days. Finally she agreed but gave the enema with no respect for any privacy. Door open and people running
around looking in... (If you havenīt had a baby, you might not know that constipation is very common during pregnancy) The contractions
were getting quite painful now and I didnīt have time to get angry at her,
During the following hours I was totally confused. Nothing was like
I had imagined it would be.
As we came into our delivery-room our designated midwife ran all the tests. (vaginal and external examination,
CTG, blood pressure and other) She than told me that the baby was a bit "high" and the best for me would be, not to lie down during the opening-
phase. She told me to stand on my knees, leaning forward over the highly raised head end of the bed. Since I was tired already, having been up
and busy all day I struggled to find a comfortable position during the labor. The midwife chasing me up each time i tried to lie down "upright as much
as possible makes it all much quicker!" and I stood on my knees "hanging over the head-end" for hours trying to please her, meeting the contractions
in a very uncomfortable position. Too stupid to tell her off... Finally my arms were totally numb, I was all sweaty and hardly managed to catch
my breath between the enormous contractions.... Subconsciously I held back when they came, maybe mostly because I was so tense
, tired and frightened
When the mostly absent and not very pleasant midwife came in to the room to check us up I had finally found a
comfortable position, but she forced me to move around every time, and it was very irritating. Without any explanations she broke the membranes (amnion) in
order to speed up the procedures... As I asked if I could please try to breathe the N2O for the pain, her reply was: "Oh, I thought you had taken it already...."
So, these days the hospitals just distribute drugs freely without any control...?
We felt stupid, me and my husband as he helped me with
the mask...
For more than an hour I had great comfort from this ancient drug. The midwife were nowhere to be seen, sure we managed
just fine but when she finally showed up to check things up and started to whisper with the nurse behind my back, and ordered me to assume "gyn-position"
we were a bit puzzled.
Iīm just going to check that your baby is Ok, we are going to take a small blood-sample... she replied while she was
trying to assembly the bed. We were both startled and worried!
What do you mean blood-test? Where? On the baby inside? How, Why??
Hallo!!!
Now I was in the middle of very large contractions and I suffered in the unconformable position, worried and close to tears, my husband
tried to catch the nurse on her way out for an explanation, but she didnīt answer and the midwife had already left the room. My dis pair and
anxiety grew and I started to cry. Not from pain, but from concern over my unborn baby. What was wrong? Being scared made the contractions even more
painful and all of a sudden I was in great pain. "I feel an unconformable pressure at my rear end..." I whispered to another nurse, it was a very strange and pressing
sensation and even though I had already received an enema the nurse was convinced "we will fix that with the bed-pan... "in an inferno of pain she
forced me to climb a portable chamber pot.
No, nothing happened in it... "Couldnīt it be the baby coming...?" I moaned. "Oh, no You are
a first-timer, I bet you have many hours ahead, and anyway, the baby isnīt below spinae yet..."
(after having my second baby i know that the pressure I felt was indeed the baby s head pressing down, I canīt help wondering how a nurse
in this delivery-room couldnīt come to this simple conclusion...?)
Instead it was time for another blood-sample from the baby. I still hadnīt realized that this simple and common test measures the amount of oxygen reaching
the baby, and doesnīt at all indicate anything being wrong. I was completely devastated, convinced that my baby was dying, but no one cared to explain
or comfort me. Finally my husband chased the nurse, forcing her to tell him what it was all about. At this stage he calmed down, the baby was ok, and
probably sleeping. But I was far to confused and dizzy from pain and N2O to understand, so I just continued crying. Now the contractions came in a storm,
no time to rest and the pressure was terribly painful. Since I was so upset and scared, confused and tired, I couldnīt handle the pain. I had no clue in what
phase I was or what to expect, and I continued to work against my body by holding back since I didnīt know what to do. No one told me how far the birth had gone
and I was absolutely certain I wouldnīt last any longer so I asked for epidural. Fine, said the midwife, not even bothering to check the dilation first. i was to receive
epidural pain-relief.
Four in the morning, exhausted, large as an elephant, movable like a ninety five years old, in a sweaty hospital-robe, water running down my
legs and contractions twice a minute I wasnīt really at my best. I didnīt feel any better meeting the doctor who were going to give me the injection. Handsome
man in his early thirties, a total ass hole. He started out telling everyone who cared to listen how many important patients he had, waiting right now, and what
he thought about this, having to run around giving injections to sissies, unable to have their baby s in a natural way... He sighed and mumbled as he, gave me strict
orders about not moving since the needle were going to be penetrating my spinal...something... I have never before felt so humiliated! I concentrated on trying
to memorize his name from the sign he wore, so I could get some revenge later (Sorry, donīt remember it ) and the thought of sending him a mail-bomb kept me
still while he injected, although the contractions cramped up my entire body twice a minute.
Finally, the anaesthetic hit me and in the same moment the
nurse made an examination just to realize that "oh, look at this, you are already fully dilated!!". So what, I thought, closing my eyes enjoying
the fantastic feeling of being numb from my belly to my toes... I said to my husband, "why on earth didnīt I ask for this earlier!?"
For almost an hour
All was calm, but the midwife was very unpleased. As I was fully dilated and the contractions got weaker from the anaesthetic, nothing happened. She ordered
injections of syntocinon to stimulate the contractions and now the real inferno began! No "refill" of epidural anaesthetic, and these stimulating injections making the
contractions come without any rest at all was real hell! Unfortunately the epidural had caused the contractions to be weak and the baby s head
wouldnīt pass below "spinae". More injections and the contractions were absolutely horrible, sometimes two or three peaks in one contraction. I canīt
remember clearly what happened for about an hour but I know I clinged to my husband screaming
"Do anything, cut me up, but take the baby out, I canīt stand thisī anymore!!!"
It was close to seven in the morning this hot summer saturday and
the delivery-room was crowded. The Vacuum-extracting unit had been brought in and a female Polish doctor dressed in a white plastic apron shouted out
orders in very bad swedish. Suddenly the doctor and nurse started quarreling above my head about an injection. I was all wiped out and didnīt understand
but according to my husband, who finally stepped in and asked what the hell they were doing; the doctor had ordered a measurement, the nurse executed, but
it was wrong and they disputed about who said what. My husband interrupted, he finally found this too much and threatened to sue them all if they
didnīt go back to work. The doctor frowned and returned to the vacuum pump.
I had read about vacuum extraction and knew that itīs custom to place a small local anaesthetic injection before applying the extractor. Unfortunately
the doctor disagreed and this was the most horrible experience!
Anyway, two nurses lying on my belly, pushing, while the plastic-doctor pulled
the handle with all her power...
It felt like popping a balloon when the tissues broke from the quick stretching. "The head is out!" my husband shouted and
tried to pep me up, I screamed and tried to push but nothing happened. "Wait for the contraction, wait for the contraction" someone shouted, but suddenly
no contractions! Finally it came and a blue and messy little creature came out, coughed, screamed and were placed directly on my belly with a warm
towel on top. "Itīs a boy!!" My husband shouted with tears in his eyes, but I was just laying there, wondering what happened. Enjoying the silence
and the smell of the newborn baby, the absence of pain (except for some very sore parts below...) I didnīt quite understand that I was a mother, no
concern whatsoever about the baby being a boy or a girl, but as I first looked into little Douglas clear eyes i started crying from joy!
When a baby is finally born there is no limit to the happiness, the baby finally in my arms, al the pain and the chaos a few seconds ago are gone and
forgotten. All is silent and pleasant.
The rest is not important. The afterbirth being stuck inside, all the injections and work to get it out, the nurse
spending 45 minutes and more than 40 stitches to patch me up.... I really didnīt bother: I just felt strong. Nothing could hurt me now! maybe that was lucky
since we had really bad luck with choosing this hospital.
After the stitching I was disposed of into a dark storage room where I waited for hours.
I hadnīt eaten for more than 24 hours and lost 2.4 liters of blood. But no one asked if I needed any assistance. My husband had to go to work and
I dispaired, not managing to get to the toilet on my own... Could they have forgotten me in this closet? My son was born at 7.10 am, and not
until around 4 pm a nurse came to transport me, my bed and my baby to the maternity ward, where I shared a room with three other mothers.
No strength to get out of bed, I didnīt get anything to eat until my husband arrived around 7 pm.
At night there were always some child crying
or a mother snoring. (Yes itīs true. Some woman, especially fat ones, do snore!)
As if this wasnīt enough the maternity ward was closing during
my visit! We spent a whole day curled up on our beds, belongings packed, sanitary towels, diapers, and towels taken away. Wash basins and mirrors
taken down and mothers with difficulties sitting, spending hours waiting. Since it was the nurses acting as movers it took more than 24 hours to
complete the moving to another ward. And we who finally lost our patience struggled around in corridors and elevators with babies, beds and luggage, trying to find
the new ward and right room.
On fourth day I was very concerned. I had no milk for my baby and he was now dry and tired. For four days
he had been screaming all the time, nurses denying me to give formula since "you will soon get milk, be patient" he now had stopped crying and slept for nine
hours. As I told a nurse, (finally the right one) things started to happen. "Oh Lord, anyone should know that there is absolutely no chance of getting any
milk after losing that amount of blood!!!" Feeding with formula every hour and control weights until the little one had gained some power again. I was also informed
that I should have spent hours in the "pump room" every day. - What pump room? Why? Where? How? No information whatsoever was given to me about
the fact that the milk wouldnīt just come by itself....
The same day a nurse told me that I should have received a blood transfusion earlier, but someone forgot it... She asked me if I wanted it now instead but
I just shook my head; " I have been awake nights through, moved furniture and managed fine for four days now without the transfusion, I`ll just stick with the
medicine, thanks!
After this experience I was convinced I would never again have a child in this hospital. But time passed and old sins were soon forgotten. On christmas day 1995 my second son was born at the same hospital... Iīm happy I decided to give Danderyd another chance, and it was a wonderful experience!
Christmas day.... And my water broke... It was 10.45 am and we had ben sleeping
at my parents place after a late celebration of christmas (In sweden we celebrate on dec 24th). I was just about to finish my coffee and didnīt really think
I would be spending the day having a baby. The baby was expected in about two weeks and I did go ten days past the calculated date last time...
But I sat there somewhat worried, my always bouncing "belly" been very still during the christmas eve. Finally after a small kick from inside in the morning I knew that at least the baby moved again. Suddenly a poof with a poodle of water on my chair made
me rush into the lavatory. Yes, sure it was time, eleven days ahead of schedule. Our baby was coming.
After consulting the midwife on duty at
Danderyd we decided to get into the car and go there. In the car me and my husband had a serious conversation. We decided to really speak out our demands
loud and clear this time. We would not accept to get run over or treated like the last time! We wanted to be in control and rather demand another midwife than
suffer through another birth all un secure and frightened. I felt strong and confident although a bit nervous, but thought to myself, it can not get any worse than
last time! My husband was certain and calm
"This will be done easy and smooth, now we know what itīs all about !"
By 11.30 am, in the car, I felt the first contraction. Not really strong but very familiar... After that they kept coming with eight-six minutes apart. I tried to
calculate when the baby would be born and sighed, Many hours of hard work and pain ahead...
I the entrance of the hospital we were welcomed
by a smiling, calm nurse and the smell of fresh coffee. Without us asking she explained the difference between "light"care and "normal". She told us that
we were free to try light care unit and if I would like to have epidural it was easy to move to the other unit. We liked the idea and went along with the nurses
proposition.
We were admitted instantly and was shown to a nicely christmas-decorated delivery room. The midwife and the nurse came in and sat down
with us for a while, talked and asked a few questions. I was offered an enema, shower or a bath, and got information about the room and itīs equipment, how
the bed and the N2O worked. We also could talk about our preferences and experiences from last time. Finally we were offered refreshments or coffee.
After a nice shower and change of clothes I was examined and sat about half an hour with the CTG attached to my belly. My dad came by and left my
journal, we had forgotten it at home. We all laughed and joked and the contractions kept coming with 3-4 minutes apart. Oh yes, they started to get painful
but not that bad.
The midwife had told me the baby was "high" over fundus. (just like my first time) and just wanted to check that the placenta wasnīt in the way. This
was done with a portable ultrasonic equipment and I just couldn't watch the screen, maybe it was too close now... Anyway, all was in order and
we returned to our calm and quiet conversation, me and my husband. While the labor went on I walked around the room, talking to my husband, "dancing" and
tripping on my tiptoes when some real tough ones came along. The midwife checked on us frequently and talked a bit, squeezed my belly and listened
. Not one single time she asked me to change my position in order to make the examination, but followed me around with portable equipment since she didnīt want to
disturb me in my labor. Around three pm the pain stated to bother me. I decided to try the N2O since it takes a while to master the technique.
Once again I was surprised by this old method of pain-relief. Even tho it results in a moment of feeling a bit "high" and the hearing impressions are a bit
strange during the breathing of the gas, the effect is quickly passing and when the really hard contractions started, the N2O took the edge of them.
The midwife had to go off her shift, and she came in to us together with the new midwife. Together they examined me, and talked a bit, when all agreed about everything, the first midwife left, and now Maja, the second one, took over.
Maja thought the baby was still a bit "high" and asked me if she could break the amnion in order to speed things up, but I said no since I felt everything was working in a nice rythm. Maja thought that was OK, We are in no hurry, take your time and relax she said, leaving the room. And I was right, just a few moments later the water broke, and it really did.... My bed turned into a swimming pool, and parts of the floor too.
At this time it began to feel very hectic and quite painful, the pressure at my bottom started and even though it felt like I needed to "go to the toilet" I knew that it was the baby s head pressing backwards. Instead of holding back, as one naturally does, I tried to press during the next contraction and I could actually feel how the head went down deeper during the contractions. This really gave me some new strength. The feeling itself was very strange, not painful in itself, but the pressure at my back got stronger and it was in the back i felt most of the pain during the labor.
After the water broke and the head of the baby came below spinae it happened quickly. At the same stage when my first baby was born, I held back form fear and received the epidural. This time I stood on the floor, leaning towards the high-risen foot-end of the bed and let my body lead the way.
While the midwife and the nurse cleaned the floor and changed sheets, the contractions culminated. They hurted, but if I compare to how painful it was in -93 when I got the stimulating injections, this was not at all as bad since there was always 10-20 seconds between, when I could rest.
But half an hour from the water broke I started to dispair. "This bloody gas doesnīt work" I cursed "Iīll do without it!" I threw the N2O mask away and in tat moment I saw on the monitor that another contraction was coming. Oops, this was a stupid thing to do, When that one was finally over I didīt let the mask out of my sight for another second. The midwife laughed a bit and turned the controls a bit for maximal effect. Now it was al an inferno of contractions. For every new one I tried to imagine the baby in my arms, to make it easier but at this stage I began to feel very confused. I concentrated on getting through each contraction, and just started to consider taking any drug available if this continued. I canīt take m much more of this.... I moaned in the pause.
It was about 4.30 pm and Maja came over to me, hugged me a bit and tried to cheer me up Hold on, sweetie, your baby is almost here she said with a smile. As she turned around to my husband she said prepare to be a father, I can see itīs time now...
I was still standing on the floor, leaning forward, legs apart. Next contraction was totally different, I gleaned at Maja, who tried to arrange some of the things for the birth, and moaned. >I canīt hold back... Maja dropped everything and quickly ordered; Husband, come over here, please. Lena, go get the sacco and put it on the floor, we are having a baby here!
In three more contractions our son William was born. During this stage Maja reported to me what happened, "Lots of dark hair, the membranes intact over the head, itīs called winners-helmet and is a sign of luck, here comes the head, one more and the body will be out..."The baby slides out with no forcing, since I was standing up I hardly had to push at all and my husband received him and placed him on the soft sacco-pillow. During the birth I felt some pain, but not at all in the same way as earlier, and I found myself laughing and joking to my husband, This is not any pleasure, I assure you, darling... as the head was on itīs way out.
This pain was controllable and not as hard as the contractions. I wonder why itīs the actual birth of the baby, not the contractions we women are afraid of?
Afterwards I was in heaven, both from having our wonderful son, and also since it had been so "easy". No stitching no wounds, and I was up and around, dressed within an hour. But we stayed in bed, all three of us for an hour or so, just relaxed and bonded, while served coffee and delicious sandwiches. Then we were off to the patients Hotel and the new after-care.
Yes, at Danderyds hospital one can have a hotel room! Single or double room, standard equipped with cable-tv, phone and mini bar. Large toilet with nursing table and shower. Just outside the room there are sitting rooms with toys for the kids, books and tv. Meals were served in a real restaurant downstairs or at the room. The midwife came on a visit the same night, leaving all kinds of information and around the clock there were nurses and midwives available. Whenever one wanted to check the baby up, there was a nurses office a few meters away where one could weigh the child or just talk to the nurses. At this office the child was checked by a doctor twice before the departure. Very modern, very practical! An amazing difference!
My own conclusions, indeed after two rather short delivery s but of very different character:
Here are some (unsorted) pointers to other resources about giving birth and pregnancy:
