Beginner's Guide to UO

REVISED

Welcome, newbie!

On this page, aunt Sandralene will try to teach you how to survive a little bit better, i.e. die a little less, during your first time in UO. When you create your character, make sure you have at least one economically viable skill, and forget about combat skills initially. The most important issue for you is getting money. A little bit later in the game, you too can hang around and speculate over the best way to kill the Balron in Hythloth, plan for your next tower or pondering where to get your 5th backup copy of a complete set of black plate mail. But right now it's money - nothing else. The best way of getting money is to get a job - yes truly get a job. There are many professions to choose from. If you are the sedentary type like myself, you should try out to be a tailor or go fishing. But I recommend tailoring - there is great money to be made there. If you like to live a little more adventurous life, and don't mind being PK:ed by Dread Lord Beavis and his kewld00ds once a day, then you should be a lumberjack / fletcher or a miner / blacksmith. Both these latter professions are very profitable and useful once you get good at it, and who knows, you might even find a small animal to kill out in the forest. That is, of course before something big, like a goat, comes along and kills you. Note you do need BOTH the skills in the combination to actually make a profit from it. Whatever business career you are going into, save up money very frequently in your bank account. Who knows, after a couple of weeks, you might have a thousand gold pieces to your name. Of course you could run around town and yell "I'M NEW, GIMME' STUFF!" or try to steal from other more honest citizens. Problem is, that in the end some odd Master Mage is going to lure you just outside the town-limit and show you the business-end of his Flame Strikes if you annoy other players enough. Oh yes, you WILL be had in UO, and have the Golden Gate bridge, a.k.a. "full spell book for only 1500 gold" sold to you - unless you are a really paranoid person - like me... It's no use trying to talk to the NPCs generally, their level of intelligence and helpfulness reflects that of the programmers, and you might like to see what usually happens when you fulfil that *quest* in the picture below... (A note to the experienced players who read this page anyway - the reason for not accepting my scroll is because of a simple spelling error in the game-mechanics - can you find this one? The game is crawling with such errors, though I still wonder who had the scroll she wanted or what she wanted to give me, I wrote this scroll myself, and no - the error is not mine of course...)

But slowly you will build up some money in your bank. So what should you do next? Go buy those skills you wanted to have from the beginning, or go hit a training dummy a thousand times. Now you have a much better character. You are still as weak as a newbie fighting, but if (read - when) you get killed, at least you know how to make more money, and get back on your feet, after you've been looted of everything you own. You might even want to go and learn magery, but be advised, becoming a great wizard takes not only a tremendous amount of time, it takes an even more tremendous amount of money. So you need money - that's what I'm saying all along, now isn't it? You might want to start considering building your own home? When you look at what a provisioner sells (forget about the architect - you can't afford his more expensive buildings anyway) you might get frightened over the price tag - 22 000 gold - of a home to call your own, and might be tempted to buy a cheaper tent instead. Resist that feeling - a tent is very unfashionable - and you will regret your choice later - go for a house - and then spend 4 days looking for a spot to place it, until Dread Lord Hehehe kills you and steals your deed after which you have to start all over. Now, prancing around in town you might overhear persons saying "Kewl d00d - let's go to Deceit again and PK some more", and begin thinking about whether or not you should go to a dungeon yourself and be the great hero you are destined to be. The answer is no, you still can't survive in a dungeon, no matter how great you think you are - not even wearing those nice fortified leather sleeves you just bought for 2 000 gold from a sympathetic gentleman in the city square. Go out in the countryside and search for something your own size. That means a rabbit or chicken, nothing bigger. If a pig comes along, run for it, it's way too tough for you. Don't even come close to that cow! Slowly you will get your fighting skills up, but it will take some time and you probably will get hurt every now and then. Oh, before attacking a chicken, look at its name. If it says "a chicken" in grey text then it's OK to attack it, but if the name flashes "Lord Kill'em All" in bright red, then it's nobody you want to trifle with anyway. Speaking of red names, when you are outside the city and see a little old lady with a red name and nothing in her hands just standing there, don't approach her, run away. And if she says "Vas Flam" or something equally incomprehensible, then it's not because of speech impairment on her part. She is trying to kill you with magical spells (and she probably will succeed, unless you run so fast you cross a server boundary). The most common reply to your friendly "Hail" will be "Corp Por", just be prepared for it. If your murderer is not yet a full fledged Dread Lord however, or if he is a so called noto-killer who waster you because you were dishonorable due to some newbie mistake, then you will have the opportunity to speak to him later in town. There you will here him say "He he, I killed you d00d, you suck!" and similar encouraging statements.

Even though Lord British do a lousy job protecting his innocent citizens out in the countryside, he does a great job killing those same innocent citizens within the city limits. This is achieved by liberal applications of invulnerable, teleporting guards who can and will execute you for a number of reasons, or sometimes without any reason what so ever. The most common reason to be killed in this manner is because you tried to steal something from someone. Even if you just are trying to steal back the money the dastardly Sleezeball just lifted from your backpack, it's highly likely that you are the one getting caught and killed. You see, it's like real lifeÔ , the petty thieves get caught and the big one goes unpunished. It's highly likely that Sleezeball was a much better thief than you, and your action will only aid him and all other bystanders to help themselves to whatever they can loot from your lifeless corpse. The second most common reason to be publicly beheaded is because you've cast an illegal spell in town, yours truly have been that three times. Now you may ask yourself, where in the manual, well - leaflet anyway, which was enclosed with the game, can I read which spells are illegal in town? Correct answer - nowhere - this type of information is hidden away in a very obscure corner of the Internet which you will never find, don't bother go looking for it. Therefore it's always a joy to experiment with what happens for instance when you help that nice man to cast Magic Trap on his chest that he generously promised you 200 gold pieces to do. Speaking of traps and chests, there is no such thing as a chest or box just sitting there in the middle of the street filled with gold waiting for you to pick up. Oh, a box will be there sometimes, but it's only content will be a device known by alchemists / tinkerers as the great (and annoying) explosion trap. If you wish to find out what that might be, then go ahead and open it, but you will be looted afterwards, all citizens of Sosaria loves to loot a person who dies conveniently in front of them. Now you might see other persons getting killed left and right in town and sometimes manifest as a ghost. Then you should know that they are not saying uououoUOUOUOuououo as a sort of happy promotion of the game, actually there's no U at all in what they say. Their speech is garbled because they are dead, and what they are trying to communicate to their surroundings is "Laaaaaag", "This sux" or "But I didn't DO anything" or something similar.

Now you know everything you need to know, to go out there and die in style. Just remember - there are NO errors in the game, the lag is EXCLUSIVELY due to the Internet and OSI is NEVER mistaken, it's all YOUR fault. At least that's what a person called Designer Dragon says, and he should know, he programmed the game. Oh by the way. You will *not* meet Lord British in the game, he was PK:ed by an enterprising fellow named Reinz already in the beta test. But he has a nice throne you can mark if you are a skilled mage. What for, you may ask? Oh no reason whatsoever, who said your actions in UO have to be logical, it doesn't say so on the game box, now does it? You can however beep on a Game Master to get help however. While you are doing so, you might reflect on the fact that the menus for getting help are very similar to a Wall of Stone in graphics. There is another similarity too beside the purely graphical likeness, but I will not teach you what that is, you've learned so much already just on this page. If you are persistent enough calling the GMs and, after calling 10 times nicely, get desperate enough to resort to foul language, you will have the benefit of visiting a mysterious very special wonderful place. No, it's not Wind I'm talking about - you'll see what I mean once you get there.

/Sincerely

Sandralene

I never listen to advice - I already know it all ... take me back to the Main Page.