Just imagine if the following people
got married...
If Yoko Ono married Sonny Bono,
she'd be Yoko Ono Bono.
If Dolly Parton married Salvador
Dali, she'd be Dolly Dali.
If Bo Derek married Don Ho, she'd be
Bo Ho.
If Oprah Winfrey married Depak
Chopra, she'd be Oprah Chopra.
If Cat Stevens married Snoop Doggy
Dogg, (hey! it's the '90's!), he'd be Cat Doggy Dogg.
If Olivia Newton-John married Wayne
Newton, then divorced him to marry Elton John, she'd be Olivia Newton-John Newton John.
If Sondra Locke married Elliott
Ness, then divorced him to marry Herman Munster, she'd become Sondra Locke Ness Monster.
If Bea Arthur married Sting, she'd
be Bea Sting.
If Liv Ullman married Judge Lance
Ito, then divorced him and married Jerry Mathers, she'd be Liv Ito Beaver.
If Snoop Doggy Dogg married Winnie
the Pooh, he'd be Snoop Doggy Dogg Pooh.
How about a baseball marriage? If
Boog Powell married Felipe Alou, he'd be Boog Alou.
If G. Gordon Liddy married
Boutros-Boutros Ghali, then divorced him to marry Kenny G., he'd be G. Ghali G.
Nog (Quark's brother on "Star
Trek: Deep Space Nine") has no other name, so he uses it twice when getting a
marriage license. If he married Howard Hughes, and then Pamela Dare, he'd be Nog Nog
Hughes Dare.
If Shirley Jones married Tom Ewell,
then Johnny Rotten, then Nathan Hale, she'd be Shirley Ewell Rotten Hale. (This one may
take a little longer to get)
If Jack Handy (SNL writer) married
Andy Capp, then married Jack Paar, then moved on to Stephen King, he'd be Jack Handy Capp
Paar King.
If Ivana Trump married, in
succession, Orson Bean (actor), King Oscar (of Norway), Louis B. Mayer (of MGM), and
Norbert Wiener (mathematician), she would then be Ivana Bean Oscar Mayer Wiener.
If Woody Allen married Natalie Wood,
divorced her and married Gregory Peck, divorced him and married Ben Hur, he'd be Woody
Wood Peck Hur.
If Dolly Parton married Tommy
Smothers, then went even further back in show business and married Mr. Lucky, then
divorced and married Martin Short, then divorced and married football kicker Ray Guy, we
could all nod understandingly when we heard, "Dolly Parton Smothers Lucky Short
Guy."