One morning, two guys go hunting deep in the forest. As the day wears on, one of the hunters decides that he needs to go relieve himself, so he finds a tree to stand behind to take care of his business.
Unluckily enough, as the hunter is relieving himself on the tree, a rattlesnake slithers down from a low branch of the tree and bites the hunter on his most private of parts. The unlucky hunter falls to the ground writhing in pain, and calls out to his buddy. Hunter #2, when he finds out what happened, sprints to his truck where he keeps his cellular phone.

Once Hunter #2 reaches the phone, he calls 911, where he tells the operator that his buddy has been bitten by a snake on his privates. The 911 operator instructs him that, as in all snake bite cases, he has to put his mouth over the area of the snakebite and attempt to suck the venom out. If he does this, he has a chance of saving his buddy's life.
Hunter #2 races back to his friend, who's almost unconscious on the ground. His friend looks up at him and asks, "what did they say?"
"Buddy," Hunter #2 tells his friend, "you're going to die."