Three men were standing
in line to get into heaven one day. Appararently it had been a pretty busy day, though, so
Peter had to tell the first one, "Heaven's getting pretty close to full today, and
I've been asked to admit only people who have had particularly horrible deaths. So, what
is your story"
The first man replies: "Well, for a while I;ve suspected my wife has been cheating on
me, so today I came home early to try to catch her red-handed. As I came into my 25th
floor apartment, I could tell something was wrong, but all my searching around didn/t
reveal where this other guy could have been hiding. Finally, I went out to the balcony,
and sure enough, there was this man hanging off the railing, 25 floors above ground! By
now, I was really mad, so I started beating on him and kicking him, but wouldn't you know,
he wouldn;t fall off. So finally I went back into my apartment and got a hammer and
started hammering on his fingers. Of course, he couldn't stand that for long, so he let go
and fell--but even after 25 stories, he fell into the bushes, stunned but okay. I couldn't
stand it anymore, so I ran into the kitchen, grabbed the fridge and threw it over the edge
where it landed on him, killing him instantly. But all that stress and anger got to me,
and I had a heart attack and died there on the balcony.
"That sounds like apretty bad
day to me," said Peter, and let the man in.
The second man was asked his story
and this is what he said. "It's been a very strange day. You see, I live on the 26th
floor of my apartment building, and every morning I do my exercises out on my balcony.
Well, this morning I must have slipped and I fell over the edge. But I got lucky, and
caught the railing of the balcony on the floor below me. I knew I couldnt hang on
for very long, when suddenly this man burst out onto the balcony. I thought for sure I
would be saved, when he started beating on me, and then using a hammer on my fingers.
Finally I just let go, but again I was lucky as I was only stunned when I fell on the
bushes below. But then, this fridge came falling out of the sky and crushed me instantly
and now I am here.
Once again Peter had to concede that
sounded like a horrible death.
The third man came to the front of
the line, and again the whole process was repeated. Peter explained that heaven was full
and asked his story.
"Picture this," said the third man. "I'm hiding naked inside a
fridge...."